My Embarrassment of Buying My Dog Condoms

My Embarrassment of Buying My Dog Condoms

I consider myself a responsible pet parent. I take my job seriously. Beyond food and shelter, I am accountable for my fuzzy one’s emotional and physical health. And, just like human parents – queue mood appropriate background music – that includes having ‘the talk’ with my pups. The dreaded, yet inevitable, birds and the bees talk. Can you imagine my embarrassment of buying my dog condoms?

My Embarrassment of Buying My Dog Condoms! A piece that highlights pet spay and neutering, by Rebecca Sanchez, The Pet Lifestyle Guru at MattieDogFebruary is National Prevent A Litter Month

The month of love, is also the month of protection. For your animals that comes down to a couple of choices.

  • Teach your pet how to use condoms
  • Spay and neuter your animals

I’ve attempted to have ‘the talk’ with Mattie. He didn’t seem that interested. Or at least he didn’t when he was young and fully intact….and humping one of his stuffed toys that was about his height. Poor stuffed sheep…that toy still looks a little horrified, even to this day. So, the decision was mine so it would seem. Mattie, like all dogs, doesn’t have thumbs and thus can’t drive a car or hop on a bus to go get dog condoms, and so off to the vet we went.

The Facts and Myths

Facts: Spayed female pets typically live longer and healthier lives! Spaying helps to  prevent uterine infections and breast tumors, and that’s good as tumors are typically malignant or cancerous in about 50% of dogs and 90% of cats. Spaying your pet prior to first heat protects from these diseases. Spaying means your female pet won’t go in to heat, which can be horrendous for you, your pet, and your neighbors (you know what I mean if you’ve ever been through this). Neutering prevents testicular cancer and some prostate ailments in male pets and males are much less likely to roam and are better behaved.

Debunking the Myths: Baby’s got back! Pa-lease girlfriend, spaying or neutering does not cause your pet to become overweight. But, just like humans….it’s the overeating and sitting all day long that will cause your Fido to seek out the nearest Weight Watchers – not spaying or neutering. While neutering isn’t a panacea to manage behavioral problems, neutered pets often have less undesirable behaviors that stem from higher levels of testosterone – but since it’s science, there are no 100% guarantees…more like 75%!

The Choice Is Yours

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I want my fuzzy son to realize a full life, and being the hip parent that I am, I recognize that he may do things that he does not share with me. Like bury bones where he’s not supposed to, urinate on a street corner…and yes, even date. Heck, the neighbor’s cat comes in through our dog door and makes herself right at home with Mattie…in his dog bed…. Oh oh, I don’t want to think about that! Okay, so since my pet doesn’t have thumbs, his reproductive rights, or lack thereof, are in my hands. I can either attempt to teach him how to wear condoms or tap into clinical advancements. Put me down for the later. You too? Here are some spay and neuter resources.

So, while it is silly fun to think of dog condoms as a choice, really they don’t exist and as a responsible pet parent, I know that spaying/neutering my pets is highly cost effective when compared to the cost of caring for a litter. Plus all of the health benefits mean I will likely have a more prolonged relationship with my fuzzy little guy. When it comes to spaying and neutering, we think the choice is pretty easy.

Hope you found this humorous, yet informative article helpful – and if you have any spay and neutering knowledge you’d like to share, please leave a note in the comments below. Now if I can only make amends with the stuffed sheep and until next time – take care and keep on lovin’ your dog!

Pet Condoms Photo Credit: San Francisco ASPCA

Rebecca Sanchez, The Pet Lifestyle Guru at MattieDog

 

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Rebecca Sanchez is a nationally recognized leader in the human-animal bond. Known as "The Pet Lifestyle Guru™" at MattieDog (her heart dog)! Rebecca is an award winning writer that blogs about her life with her doggos, and sometimes about her husband who reluctantly agrees to participate in her shenanigans. Rebecca's work can be seen in numerous dog magazines, and in her books on Amazon.

42 Comments

  1. Thanks for the fun read! I really have no idea how people think it’s ok not to fix their pups.

    Reply
    • You are welcome – and yes, it’s an important thing to do for many reasons!

      Reply
  2. It’s really interesting. Well done

    Reply
  3. Yup…I fell for it. I was thinking this could have lead to a dark deprived tutorial on fitting a condom on a dog.

    Good one!!

    Reply
    • Ha ha ha, that would have been good too – thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  4. BOL thanks for the laugh, when dogs hump in the park we all yell : Get a hotel room 🙂

    Reply
    • Yep, a lot of opportunities for dog park dogs to get a room!

      Reply
  5. I was thinking about how some inventors were working on a condom spray and how that would work on dogs. Lol! Spay/neuter sounds a lot easier!

    Reply
    • Aren’t we bad – dog lovers, we can’t help ourselves!

      Reply
  6. lol i had no idea dogs wore condoms

    Reply
    • We couldn’t help ourselves!

      Reply
  7. Very funny! As much as I love puppies, I will never breed my dogs. I read that there may be a way to chemically neuter dogs in the future (I think it is in an injection) which might be a great alternative.
    Beth recently posted…Engaging Tails: MarleyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Interesting – about the chemical neutering – I’d be curious if it would still have the health benefits. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  8. I love it! Both of the boys are “fixed.” Neither of them can afford puppy support! BOL!

    Reply
    • Ha ha ha – puppy support! Oh boy, we had such a ball with this one!

      Reply
  9. I love your light-hearted take on such an important topic. Brilliant!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much – we enjoyed ourselves greatly!

      Reply
  10. This is hilarious – dog condoms! Great post and a smart way to get everyone’s attention!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much – we had a hoot of a time writing it!

      Reply
  11. This was a totally fun read, just had to share it. It is such an important topic and I really think this post gets the point across. Love it.

    Reply
    • Aw, that is so sweet and thank you so much!

      Reply
  12. Hilarious take on a very misunderstood and highly avoided topic. Way to grab peoples attention in order to educate. The numbers are staggering and the result – heartbreaking.

    Reply
    • Thank you and we couldn’t agree more – this topic needs discussion, and we worked to tackle it in a novel and new way!

      Reply
  13. Very funny- I was sucked in at first. Great way to spread the message, especially to younger pet parents. Kilo the Pug was fixed by the rescue just before we started fostering him.

    Reply
    • Thank you! While it’s hilarious to think that we could somehow teach our pets to wear condoms….it’s not the same as human courting!

      Reply
  14. Lol too funny! I’m sure you’ll get a lot of people’s attention with this!

    Reply
    • Thank you – we truly hope that our funny yet attention grabbing article makes people set-up and take notice!

      Reply
  15. Great post, it really made me smile! I also love your picture— it’s just perfect for the post!!!

    Reply
    • Thank you! We hope our article brings attention to spay and neutering – it’s such an important topic!

      Reply
  16. Oh gosh, at first I thought there was some little known use for human condoms with dogs (like boots or something). *gasp* ☺ Nice way to use satire to make a point about spay/neuter!

    Reply
    • Thank you so much – we had a ball writing this one!

      Reply
  17. Such a great post and a necessary one. Love the approach you took. I am tweeting it now.

    Reply
  18. Loved this post! Truffle and Brulee were spayed at about 7 months of age.

    Reply
  19. People have to be responsible… our pup wont be neutered for a while since he is our performance / show dog… good thing all our girls are fixed!! Great post.

    Reply
  20. This really was fantastically funny! I didn’t know what I was in for when I saw the title, LOL! This is such an important message for Pet owners. Just 1 unspayed dog can potentially result in thousands of unwanted litters in just 6 years.

    Reply
    • I know – we went for intrigue and shock with this title! Yes, the amount of little ones that come from unspayed/neutered animals is devastating.
      MattieDog recently posted…Fierce Fashion for the Vegan Dog LoverMy Profile

      Reply

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